Facebook Faux Pas

I’m not surprised Mark Zuckerberg became a philanthropist, he probably realised the monster he’d created with Facebook and felt the need to make amends in some way.

The main issue for me is, that on the whole, the people on my friends list are about as far from the traditional definition as it’s possible to get.  At best, they’re people I happened to have been forced to spend time with at school because of a legal obligation to stay until the age of 16.  Only then could I  voluntarily leave them behind, whilst doing a Michael Jackson moonwalk, waving as I went!

Over the ensuing years I’ve done my absolute best to avoid school reunions; those horrific meetings where a false veneer of success is as essential as the age-defying make-up you’ve slapped on.  At this point I think it’s only right to mention I went to an all-girls secondary school – the only place in the world that contains more bitches than a dogs’ home!

So, I’d been on Facebook a while and added my one and only proper friend onto my list along with my family and I was more than happy to stay with that.  Then, this summer I was inundated with friend requests – being relatively new to the whole Facebook thing I was wholly unaware of the impact ticking the accept friend icon would have.  The result – a list as long as your arm of those I’d hardly spoken to at school and would have been more than happy never to have heard from again being privy to my not-so-interesting-life and me having to endure their saccharine meme’s and cryptic posts such as ‘I’m human, not a bloody toy!’

This social media malarkey has opened a brand new can of worms which brings me onto Facebook/face-to-face etiquette.  What is the correct way of dealing with Facebook friends in a face-to-face setting?

A couple of days ago I was walking into town and my eye caught a vaguely familiar face walking in the opposite direction, just as she was about to pass me I was thrown into a modern-day conundrum – do I say hello, stop to talk?  What shall I do, what shall I do?  I was thrown into a social panic.  I hadn’t spoken to this woman in over 30 years, she’s all but a stranger to me aside from the fact that I am fully abreast of the minutiae of her life since it appears in an unavoidable ticker on my news feed.

Well, not being ignorant I decided the only thing to do was to make eye contact and say a polite yet brief ‘hello’.  But a strange thing happened, she caught my eye, then looked away and completely ignored me!!  Unbelievable!  I knew absolutely everything that was currently going on in her life and could quote it back to her if push came to shove and she’d bloody dissed me.  I was absolutely dumbfounded!  What is the world coming to when you have an intimate remote insight into one another’s lives and yet actual face-to-face contact is something to be avoided at all costs – it just baffles me.

Needless to say, upon my return home I logged onto my account and deleted all the so-called ‘friends’ and unfollowed a whole lot more.  I’m now back to my one proper friend and family.  Now, I happily ignore everyone which is just the way I wanted it in the first place!

I would love to know if this has happened to you and how you’ve dealt with it, please drop me a line.  I look forward to hearing from you.

HotFlushDiaries

img_1206

Advertisements

Facebook Faux Pas

I’m not surprised Mark Zuckerberg became a philanthropist, he probably realised the monster he’d created with Facebook and felt the need to make amends in some way. The main issue for m…

Source: Facebook Faux Pas

Go Fund Me – A Controversial View?

Some of you may find my article today a little uncomfortable, programmed as we have been in recent years to extend sympathy/empathy towards everyone. For those who do not extend these principles and say so on social media for example are commonly regarded as ‘trolls’.

Scrolling through my Twitter and Facebook feeds this morning I noticed no less than four separate crowd funding appeals. Today my local newspaper carried a story of a couple who are raising money for the children’s ward of the hospital for Christmas. On the face of it a good cause and one that none of us could criticise for its sentiment but for me, an unnecessary cause. I imagine it’s not very nice being in hospital over the Christmas period but when did it become such a concern that the only thing to do is to throw money at it?

Just who does decide to set up a Go Fund Me page, what is it they want to do and why do they expect members of the general public to fund it for them? I decided to look into this in further detail.

I went to the Go Fund Me website to find out more.

There are some worthy causes listed, however it became apparent it’s also a place where people who have a whim to do something but don’t have the money to do it have turned to this website. Take for example a singer who is appealing for funds to allow her to record an EP, now I don’t know whether she’s particularly good at singing or not, but why am I and others like me being asked to fund this? There’s surely an argument here that if people are not investing any of their own funds the temptation to get others to fund one dodgy project after another must be immense, after all there’s only your money for them to lose!

There are also a great number of the ‘my partner has cancer please fund a holiday/wedding/changes to the home’ etc and frankly this list is endless. It is terrible that any family has to go through their loved one having this awful disease and the treatment that ensues but I feel as though responsibility is being shifted. I made a decision years ago to set up a life assurance policy, it’s not that much a month (around £25) but it pays out a sum of money should I be diagnosed with a terminal illness and also pays off my mortgage. I took responsibility for my own future, I have never thought ‘well, it’ll never happen to me’, because it just might and I wanted to be prepared.

With crowd funding we no longer have to take responsibility for our own future because we can make emotive appeals that pull on heartstrings with photos of families and children added to ramp up the feel-sorry-for-me factor. I accept there are exceptions but there is also a finite amount of money that people can donate in these cash-strapped times.

As the old Grange Hill hit song said, you can Just Say No but the saturation level of such appeals makes it more likely they will be just another junk article you speed-scroll past to get to that all important funny vine you’ve been tagged in and that’s a real shame for the genuinely deserving causes that are out there.

 

 

Hot Flush Diaries

 

Working from home – One of those days!

Oh dear!

My partner’s car has gone in for a service today and so he is consequently working from home. Now to most people ‘working from home’ means having a lie-in, a leisurely breakfast, a cursory check of work emails, a couple of telephone calls and maybe filling in a few fields on an excel spreadsheet, essentially just doing enough that should anyone ask you can actually prove you have done something. However, working from home to my partner means just that because he’s not like me, he is a conscientious soul.

So now my day is going to be absolutely thrown into total disarray.

I like to get up, have my first breakfast of fruit, tidy the kitchen, watch the news, write a few things all while having the TV on for background noise. I can’t work in absolute silence – it is too noisy!! I have a cup of tea with second breakfast, write some more and then perhaps go to the gym. A well-oiled comfortable routine.

My partner returns from dropping off the car at the garage, fires up the computer and then begins to get into a froth about cables he needs to attach God knows what to the computer. ‘It’s going to be one of those days.’ He mutters. Yes, I think, it bloody well is because you’ve already turned down the TV and totally disrupted my morning routine and it’s only 9.00am!

We are now sitting in total silence, with only the mumblings of Victoria Derbyshire in the background and the sound of tap tap tapping on our respective keyboards (at this moment lip-reading would be a good talent to have) like we’ve had a major domestic and are ignoring each other.
He’s right though, it is going to be one of those days and a long one at that!!!

Hot Flush Diaries

  

Teenagers – It’s always about them even when it’s not!

My daughter, who’s almost 15 started her periods about 6 months or so ago. Being a late developer all her friends were old hands at the old monthly lark by the time she caught up.

Every month, without fail whether she’s at school or at home she announces or texts in a most horrified fashion ‘I’ve come on – again!’ I know she knows this will happen until her 50’s at the very least and so it does amuse me the announcement comes with an air of surprise on her part every time.

Yesterday we’d planned to go swimming (she’s not managed the art of the tampon yet) and she comes marching into the bedroom where I’m packing my swimming bag quoting the eponymous ‘I’ve come on – AGAIN!’

‘Well I did think you were due.’image

‘I can’t go swimming now, can I? And what about camping at the weekend, it’ll be a nightmare. What am I going to do now?’ This was said in a stroppy teenage this is all your fault kind of way.
“I’m sure there will be facilities at the campsite.’ (I say that but to be honest as she’s going on the trip with her father and his friends I can only speculate as to whether there will be facilities or whether it’ll be a field in the middle of nowhere, you can never tell with him).

‘It’s alright for you.’ She states accusingly

‘Why do you say that? I’m not foolish enough to go camping.’ (I bloody hate it, no running water, no electricity, no en-suite – camping is not something I would entertain even as a little kid, I hated it for the aforementioned reasons, not to mention I want a full english that I don’t have to have a part in cooking).

‘Well, you’re going through that menopause thingy so you don’t have to worry about periods and stuff. It’s not fair!’

‘What do you mean not fair? If you didn’t have a period you wouldn’t be able to have children. It’s not plain sailing you know, it’s like going though puberty in reverse. I still have period pains but no period, PMS but again no period, hot flushes, itchy skin…….’ I would have gone on but she interrupted me.

‘OK, but what am I going to do? How is that helping me?’

‘You’ll just have to play it by ear won’t you, that’s all I can say or not go.’

‘I am going.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t help you then, anyway I’m off swimming now, bye!’

Teenagers – it’s always about them even when it’s not!

Hot Flush Diaries

Don’t snore so close to me!

What is the worst thing you can hear at night when you can’t sleep?

Yes, you’ve got it – someone lying next to you snoring, soundly asleep. I’ve had an absolutely crap week of trying to get to sleep.

I get into a comfortable position and quickly overheat and have to move – now I’m in a less comfortable position and fidgeting around. I finally settle only now I’ve got an itch….. on my face, my leg, my arm, my stomach – indeed almost every time I scratch and settle another itch manifests itself.

I try to not immediately move and wriggle my body around trying to alleviate the agonising desire to scratch, scratch, scratch but it overwhelms me and the cycle starts all over again.

Occasionally, I nudge-elbow the sleeping log next to me which serves to halt the drain-like sucking noises for about twenty seconds. Grrrr! There’s nothing worse when you can’t sleep than someone who has managed exactly what you’ve been striving for for the last two hours!

Finally, I get to sleep only to be semi-woken by having to roll over to change position because my joints have stiffened up or gone to sleep and the ache has prised me out of the arms of Morpheus. Also, I’ve gotten into the habit (and I’ve no idea why this is happening) that I have to stretch out my body (like you do upon waking) such that my calf muscle almost cramps up forcing me to save the situation by doing a quick foot flex.

Suddenly its time to get up, just around the time I’ve managed to get off to sleep. I swing my legs out of bed and stretch my arms up to the ceiling standing on tiptoe – a sear of pain makes me wince, grab my calf and fall backwards onto the bed.

The perfect start to the perfect day, it can only get better!

Hot Flush Diaries